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New Years: An Argyle Life Resolution

December 31, 2010

First and foremost, Happy New Years! I hope you all have a safe and wonderful new year, just be careful tonight. Secondly, I apoligize for not having posted anything in a while. There were pressing matters at hand that needed to be handled. And they were handled successfully for the most part. Now on to this new post…

This should be a required reading for anyone living the Argyle Life. 1001 Rules for my Unborn Son is a blog by Walker Lamond that features multitudes of small bits of fatherly wisdom that pretty much form the ultimate guidebook for anyone wanting to be a gentleman (as anyone living the Argyle Life should). This is not necessarily gender specific as ladies can draw from these life lessons and eventually share them with their children as well. It is my goal for the new year to live my life by these rules… well almost all of them.  Mr. Lamond did and is doing an excellent job with this blog, but no one is perfect. Some (a very small percentage) of his rules are probably more personal than he may think, or are outdated. The following are my corrections to some of the rules (these also will not be perfect) and then a highlight tour of my favorite rules (even though all of them are excellent). I also encourage those of you who like these rules to go and purchase the book of the same name. You can keep it or give it as a gift, but it will support the wonderful idea that Mr. Lamond has so graciously given to us for free.

Corrections

469. Stay in your seat until the credits have rolled

Most credits are not worth watching unless you are a true movie buff.

438. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first girlfriend.

Some first girlfriends are not worth remembering.

435. A man gets only a couple chances a year to wear velvet. New Year’s Eve is one.

Velvet is a very questionable choice in almost any situation.

419. Real sweaters don’t have zippers.

For the most part yes, but some can be excused.

405. No one wants to watch you practice guitar.

Unless you are good at it. Also, don’t ask people to watch you. If you are good enough, they will come.

359. If you are going to reinvent yourself, be original.

Very few people are truly original in this day and age. Take small bits from places of influence, or take things from obscure places of influence. This will give you the illusion of being original.

341. Jazz is for dancing.

Jazz is great for dancing. But for musicians and lovers of jazz, its great to play and to listen to as well.

326. Your best chance of being a rockstar is learning the bass.

Start with guitar or drums and realistically judge your abilities. Then move to bass.

309. Learn to pronounce French words correctly.

Learn another language, preferably not French.

296. Never turn down an invitation to speak in public.

If you are good at speaking in public.

285. Sleep with the window open.

Possibly in the spring time.

282. Never swing at the first pitch.

I’ve had great success with first pitch hits. It catches a lot of people off guard.

227.Offer to take a stranger’s picture. Work quickly.

Only take a stranger’s picture when they ask you to.

202. Avoid air conditioning, especially at the beach.

Enjoy air conditioning if you can afford it.

191. Don’t have a girlfriend in college.

Don’t have a girlfriend for most of college.

160. On occasion, go to the movies by yourself.

A little weird in my book.

150. Don’t get all fancy about your beer of coffee.

You can enjoy fancy beer and coffee for what it is, but you must also be able to enjoy the average stuff too.

122. The key to good photography is not timing. It’s editing.

Actually its mostly about timing so you don’t have to do editing.

121. Men should not wear sandals. Ever.

Unless they are going someplace with sand.

95. Never eat the same meal twice.

Unless you are in college.

92. At funerals, a dark suit is fine. You shouldn’t own a black one.

I think everyone should have a black suit.

84. Support friends in the arts. Especially if they stink.

Support them for a bit, but let them down easy if they don’t get any better after a while.

50. Play organized football.

Play any organized sport.

39. Drink rail liquor.

Be able to drink rail liquor. Enjoy fine liquors for what they are.

14. Men with facial hair have something to hide.

Some things are worth hiding.

11. Don’t waste time with a fancy watch.

Have a nice watch that will last, but don’t spend too much on it. Also, NO DIAMONDS.


Favorites

468. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

460. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

441. Don’t give unsolicited lessons on the golf course or at the pool table.

439. Return a lost wallet.

434. A suntan is earned, never bought.

432. Best to keep your hands out of the picture.

426. Don’t tell someone he has a sunburn. He knows.

418. Go Navy. Beat Army.

408. Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.

407. Thank a veteran. And then make it up to him.

395. Be mindful of what comes between you and the earth.  Buy good tires, good sheets and good shoes.

376. If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point.

349. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry. Live up to it.

342. Don’t make a scene.

338. Keep it short, lose the notes, and thank your dad.

336. Know when to ignore the camera.

331. Be subtle. She sees you.

330. Give credit. Take the blame.

318. Don’t gloat. A good friend will do it for you.

311. Don’t date your bartender.

301. Dress for the job you want, not for the one you have.

298. Have a signature look.

288. Believe.

276. Surround yourself with smart people.

269. If you’ve made your point, stop talking.

245. Look people in the eye when you thank them, especially waiters.

240. You will have a love life one day. Be discreet.

234. Thank the bus driver.

206. Never turn down a girl’s invitation to dance.

197. There’s nothing wrong with musical theater.

194. Have a signature dish, even if it’s your only one.

187. Smile at pretty girls.

185. Be careful not to ogle girls at the beach. That’s what sunglasses are for.

173. Find yourself a good hideout.

168. Be cool to the younger kids. Reputations are built over time.

163. Be confident on the subway.

157. Go all out on Halloween.

118. A vandal is the lowest form of scoundrel.

117. Be a good listener. Don’t wait your turn to talk.

113. When in doubt, wear a tie.

105. Keep it simple: the white oxford shirt.

101. Root for the home team, even when they stink.

100. Have a reliable hangout.

97. Finish what you start

94. Don’t show off. Impress.

75. Respect fire.

59. Socks are not necessary in the summer, no matter how formal the occasion.

51. You won’t always be the strongest or fastest.  You can be the toughest.

49. Call your momm.

48. In the long run, loyalty trumps ambition every time.

44. Remember birthdays and give thoughtful gifts.

29. Absolutely no piercings or tattoos, unless you are in the armed forces.

25. Respect dress codes. You’ll have more liberty to be funny.

23. Learn to tie a bowtie.

20. Learn an instrument, preferably one that can be played at home in the company of friends.

19. Don’t welch on bets. Better yet, don’t gamble.

13. Avoid gossip.

9. Stand up for the little guy.

5. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.

3. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look him in the eye.

2. Be a vigorous dancer.

1. You can never overdress.

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